The death of a great man, Howie Doliber, has inspired this post...
Don't get me wrong, ones relationship with their mother is untouchable. She is the disciplinary one, the outline of life, a teacher, a role model, and most of all your mother. She gave birth to you and grew you from day one inside. She helps shape you as a person and teaches you right from wrong. But there is someone else, almost the unsung hero.
Dad.
A few days ago, a wife and four wonderful children lost their father. They stood strong at the wake as the back bone for their Mother. Each of them had a different story as we passed and expressed our condolences. But as I looked at all of the pictures through-out the funeral home I realized that the relationship, the bond, the love between a Father and his child is so great, powerful, and unspoken.
As I spoke to my Dad today, it came to my mind that I never tell him how much I love him. One day he will be gone and I will have to stand there and be strong for my Mom. Yes, I will always kiss my mother goodbye, call her on the phone, or say I love you -- that will always be. No matter the conversation, argument, or just random conversation. But with Dad -- it's like we have osmosis. It's unspoken but the love is so great.
We share a love of Football, Bruce Springsteen, Jimmy Buffett -- although we've BOTH never been to a concert, Baseball, sailing, family, and many more. There have been the occasional time where I've done something stupid and with out saying a word, he would ask me to do something around the house and I knew automatically that I was being punished. I will call and just by hearing my voice he'll know something is wrong or I'm in a great mood. We both know by the raise in an eyebrow to get the heck out of the kitchen. He helps me when I need things and I help him. He has taught me the skills in life that I will need someday when we own a house. Yes -- I know how to change a light bulb and even replace the kitchen floor. He has pushed me in a way to grow as a person that I will never be able to repay. When we stood in the room before my wedding and he said, 'I don't want to see you cry, don't look at me and we'll make it down the isle together' - that's love. It's a relationship I am beginning to understand. It's the relationship that I see now with Todd & Jacob. It's indescribable.
In life we all have different roles. If you are a parent then you get it. If you are an expectant parent, make sure you stop and look at the things developing around you. If you have lost a parent, stop, look to the sky and say, 'I love you Mom/Dad.
You don't know what you've got till it's gone.
That being said. Dad, I love you. Thank you for all that you've taught me. Thank you for helping Mom shape me into the person that I am today. Thank you for being there when I need you. Although I may not give you lots of hugs or kiss you good-bye, you will always be my Dad and I'm glad to have you. You mean the world to me and I wouldn't have it any other way.
So we'll continue touching index fingers and I'll know what you really mean.
